Confidential to ASDPs: 5 Ways You Are Stronger Than Covid-19

EDITOR’S NOTE: This post was originally published in April 2020. (Before we get started:  You might be wondering, “What’s an ASDP? And am I an ASDP?” If you’re an American, and if the national statistics are correct, there’s a 67% chance that the answer is yes. If you live somewhere else in the world, keep … Read more

Have You Ever Been Afraid of Your Own Anger at Work?

There’s no getting around it:  Anger is scary. I’m not talking about moderate-to-severe daily annoyances. I’m talking about white hot rage, the kind where control is balanced at the edge of a cliff – at the base of which lie crashing surf, rocks, bones, and the remnants of careers and reputations. It’s bad enough being … Read more

Authentic Joy at Work: How Your Career Can Help You Heal Your Life

As a society, we’re used to hearing negative messages about how our jobs and workplaces are hazardous to our health. There are endless studies about our worklife promotes stressful lifestyle habits, invades our restorative family and personal time, stresses us out through being at the mercy of toxic bosses and coworkers, compromises our privacy, etc. … Read more

Are Your Coworkers Treating You Like Their Emotional Dumping Ground?

One of our common experiences as adult survivors of a damaged past (ASDPs) is that, when it comes to friendships and work relationships, we often find ourselves in the “helper” role. Which can be a familiar place for us to be in emotionally. We unconsciously bring that role into our adult lives, especially at work, … Read more

Bumper Car Moments

You know the feeling I’m just about to describe. You’ve been there too. You’re at work, and everything is going smoothly. You’re sailing through your day. Work is getting done. Meetings are productive and blessedly short. Everyone is smiling at each other. You can hear laughter in the halls. Your boss thinks you’re fantastic. And … Read more

When Friendly Advice Becomes Boundary-Busting Bossiness

One of the fundamental responsibilities of parents (human and otherwise) is to teach their children to thrive in life. In the savannah, among lions, it’s called survival. In society, it’s called success. But when you’re an Adult Survivor of a Damaged Past (ASDP), you likely learned success and survival secrets from parents and other influential … Read more

IRRATIONAL REACTIONS!!!!!! How to Protect Your Career From Blasts from the Past

We all have emotional buttons – those areas of sensitivity that, when touched, set our teeth on edge, make us bite our tongue before we say something that we can’t take back, force us to count to 5 or 10 or 75…whatever it takes to make sure our response is measured and reasonable. I’m not … Read more

The One Question That Can Change Everything for ASDPs

When we were children just learning about life, the people with the most influence on our beliefs were the adults in our immediate circle – usually our parents, sometimes guardians, possibly other influential adults. But what if they were adult survivors of damaged pasts (ASDPs) themselves? The adults from their childhoods taught them harsh lessons … Read more

“I’m Not an ASDP But….”: How Your Damaged Past May Be Blocking You From Your Joyful Future

“I’m not an ASDP but…your message really resonated with me.” Yes, I’ve heard that before. I’ve read that before. Heck. Even I still have trouble admitting to one person, never mind a whole audience, that I’m an ASDP myself. There are times I still stumble over the acronym. Adult Survivor of a Damaged Past.  But, … Read more